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Course Catalog / BMU 102 / Course project

Course Project: My Hard Conversation Plan

BMU 102 Hard Conversations at Home. About 30 to 60 minutes. Your work saves on this device as you type.

This is your capstone. Fill in each part for your own life. When a part is ready, press Check this part. The page checks it against the rubric line right away and tells you exactly what to fix. There is no limit on tries.

How it works

  1. Build it. Fill in each part below. Use your lesson work.
  2. Check each part. The page checks every rubric line for you. You do not grade yourself.
  3. Fix and check again. Each part that is not ready yet shows what is missing and how to fix it.
  4. Finish. When every part passes, press Check my whole project. Then download or print your finished product.

Your Certificate of Completion needs two things: every part of this project passing its automatic check, and a Posttest score of 80% or higher.

Leave out private details like account numbers, Social Security numbers, or your home address.

If you need support

This course is education, not therapy. If you feel unsafe or in crisis, reach out now:

  • 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255.
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1 800 799 7233 or text START to 88788 (thehotline.org).
  • In danger right now: call 911.

Part 1: Issue (Lesson 1)

Rubric line, ready: Named in plain words: what happened and how it felt

See a strong and a weak example for this part (made up)

Strong: passes every check

A made up learner. Use it as a model, then write your own.

What happened, as a camera would see it

Three times this month the rent money was late, and I found out from the landlord, not from my partner.

How it felt to you

I felt embarrassed and worried.

Weak: not ready yet

A first draft by the same made up learner, with mistakes people often make.

What happened, as a camera would see it

You never tell me anything about money.

How it felt to you

Like they don't care.

Why the weak one is not ready, and how to fix it

This is what the page said when the weak version was checked.

  • Describe what happened in at least 10 words. Yours has 7.
  • Say what happened, not a label. Drop words like you always or you never.
  • Name a feeling word, like hurt, worried, frustrated, or lonely.

Taught in: Lesson 1: Name What Was Never Said.

Part 2: Grounding and break (Lesson 2)

Rubric line, ready: A tool you have practiced and break words with a return time

Decision check: voices rise and you feel flooded. What do you do?
See a strong and a weak example for this part (made up)

Strong: passes every check

A made up learner. Use it as a model, then write your own.

Your grounding tool

Box breathing, four counts each

The date you practiced it

-2

Your break words, with when you will come back

I need a break. I'll be back in 20 minutes so we can finish.

Decision check: voices rise and you feel flooded. What do you do?

Use your break words, say when you will return, and come back then.

Weak: not ready yet

A first draft by the same made up learner, with mistakes people often make.

Your grounding tool

Breathe

The date you practiced it

left blank

Your break words, with when you will come back

I can't do this right now.

Decision check: voices rise and you feel flooded. What do you do?

Keep going so you finish the talk tonight.

Why the weak one is not ready, and how to fix it

This is what the page said when the weak version was checked.

  • Name your tool in at least 2 words. Yours has 1.
  • Enter the date you practiced the tool (today or earlier).
  • Your break words need a return time, like in 20 minutes or after dinner.
  • Decision check: Lesson 2 says take a break and name a return time.

Taught in: Lesson 2: Get Grounded First.

Part 3: Goal (Lesson 3)

Rubric line, ready: One main goal you control and a good enough outcome

Decision check: which goal is one you control?
See a strong and a weak example for this part (made up)

Strong: passes every check

A made up learner. Use it as a model, then write your own.

Your one main goal for the talk

I will say I need to know about bills before they are late.

A good enough outcome

We agree on one weekly money check in, even if we do not solve everything.

Decision check: which goal is one you control?

Say clearly what I need and ask for one change.

Weak: not ready yet

A first draft by the same made up learner, with mistakes people often make.

Your one main goal for the talk

Make them see they were wrong

A good enough outcome

They admit it

Decision check: which goal is one you control?

Make my partner admit they were wrong.

Why the weak one is not ready, and how to fix it

This is what the page said when the weak version was checked.

  • Make the goal about you: use I.
  • Describe a good enough outcome in at least 6 words. Yours has 3.
  • Decision check: pick the goal you control.

Taught in: Lesson 3: Choose Your Goal.

Part 4: Opener (Lesson 4)

Rubric line, ready: All four parts, practiced out loud

See a strong and a weak example for this part (made up)

Strong: passes every check

A made up learner. Use it as a model, then write your own.

Part 1: a calm start

Can we talk for ten minutes about bills?

Part 2: what happened, specific

The rent was late on the 5th and I heard it from the landlord.

Part 3: how you feel

I felt embarrassed and worried.

Part 4: your request

Could we check bills together every Sunday?

The date you practiced it out loud

-1

Weak: not ready yet

A first draft by the same made up learner, with mistakes people often make.

Part 1: a calm start

We need to talk.

Part 2: what happened, specific

You always pay the bills late.

Part 3: how you feel

I think you don't care.

Part 4: your request

Just do better.

The date you practiced it out loud

left blank

Why the weak one is not ready, and how to fix it

This is what the page said when the weak version was checked.

  • Part 2: remove always or never. Name one event.
  • Part 3: include a feeling word.
  • Part 4: ask for something, with could, would, can, will, or please.
  • Enter the date you practiced it out loud (today or earlier).

Taught in: Lesson 4: Words That Open Doors.

Part 5: Listening and follow up (Lessons 5 and 6)

Rubric line, ready: A calm phrase, a repair sentence, a check in date, and a support contact

See a strong and a weak example for this part (made up)

Strong: passes every check

A made up learner. Use it as a model, then write your own.

Your calm listening phrase

Tell me more about that.

Your repair sentence

I'm sorry I raised my voice. Let me try that again.

Check in date

7

A support contact (who and how to reach them)

My sister Dana, 555 201 3344

Weak: not ready yet

A first draft by the same made up learner, with mistakes people often make.

Your calm listening phrase

OK.

Your repair sentence

Whatever, let's move on.

Check in date

left blank

A support contact (who and how to reach them)

My sister

Why the weak one is not ready, and how to fix it

This is what the page said when the weak version was checked.

  • Your calm phrase needs at least 3 words.
  • A repair sentence owns your part or restarts, like I'm sorry, let me try again, or can we start over.
  • Pick a check in date in the next 30 days.
  • Add how to reach your support contact: a phone number, a website, or 988.

Taught in: Lesson 5: Listening When It Is Hard; Lesson 6: After the Talk.

Finish your project

The download is a web page file you can open, print, or save as a PDF. It holds only what you typed here.

Next up: Take the Posttest. Back to the last lesson.

Stuck on a part after two tries? Contact BMU Learner Support with the part name and what you tried. Please do not send private details.