Course Catalog / BMU 102 / Wrap up
BMU 102
BMU 102 Wrap Up: Your Talk Plan, Checked
You have the pieces for one real conversation. This page helps you check your plan, see what you can now do, and keep using these skills after the course ends.
In this lesson you will
- Score your talk plan against a five part rubric
- Rate yourself on each course outcome and pick one to review
- Schedule a 7 day and a 30 day check in
Your capstone
Your capstone is a one page talk plan for one real conversation. It names the issue in plain words. It lists your grounding tool and break words. It states one main goal and a good enough outcome. It includes your four part opener, a calm phrase for pushback, and a follow up and repair plan. You decide whether and when to have the talk. Nobody grades this but you, and you never have to share it.
| Criterion | Not yet | Getting there | Ready to use |
|---|---|---|---|
| Issue (Lesson 1) | Not named | Named, but with blame | Named in plain words: what happened and how it felt |
| Grounding and break (Lesson 2) | Missing | A tool, but no break words | A tool you have practiced and break words with a return time |
| Goal (Lesson 3) | No goal, or depends on them | Several goals | One main goal you control and a good enough outcome |
| Opener (Lesson 4) | Missing | Has blame or always or never | All four parts, practiced out loud |
| Listening and follow up (Lessons 5 and 6) | Missing | Only one of the two | A calm phrase, a repair sentence, a check in date, and a support contact |
Aim for "Ready to use" on every row. Any row at "Not yet" tells you exactly what to fix: go back to the lesson named in that row and redo that piece.
Worked example: a talk plan that scores Ready to use
- Issue: "When calls come after 10 p.m., I'm not sleeping and I get short with you."
- Grounding: box breathing in the car. Break words: "I need 20 minutes. I'll call back at 7:30."
- Goal: set a boundary. Good enough: I said it calmly and keep my phone on silent after 9.
- Opener: "This week you called after 10 three nights. I'm worn out. I need sleep to be a good daughter. Can our calls end by 9 on weeknights?"
- Follow up: calm phrase "I hear you." Repair line ready. Check in on the 15th. Support: my pastor.
Why it scores well: every line is specific, in the person's own words, and the goal does not depend on Mom agreeing.
Try it: finish and score your capstone
- Open your notes from Lessons 1 to 6, or your Hard Conversation Planner.
- Fill in any missing lines of your talk plan.
- Score each rubric row, then fix any row below Ready to use.
- Print or save the one page plan below.
Do it by: before you print your certificate
Check your understanding: end of course self-assessment
For each line, pick the answer that is true for you today. No one else sees this.
| I can... | If "not yet," revisit |
|---|---|
| Name an unspoken issue without blame | Lesson 1 |
| Calm my body and ask for a break | Lesson 2 |
| Pick one goal I control | Lesson 3 |
| Open without blame | Lesson 4 |
| Reflect back what I hear | Lesson 5 |
| Repair and follow up | Lesson 6 |
Score each line: 1 = not yet, 2 = getting there, 3 = I can do this. Anything at 1 is your first review stop.
Your job aid
Printable talk plan (one page).
- The issue, in plain words: ________
- My grounding tool: ________
- My break words and return time: ________
- My one goal and good enough outcome: ________
- My opener (happened, felt, need, ask): ________
- My calm phrase for pushback: ________
- My repair sentence: ________
- Check in date and support contact: ________
Also useful: the free Hard Conversation Planner and Conversation Starter.
Use it: 7 day and 30 day check in
In 7 days, ask yourself: Did I have the talk, or set a date for it? If I had it, did I follow through on my part? Did I use grounding or reflecting anywhere else this week?
In 30 days, ask yourself: How are things with this person now compared to a month ago? Did my check in happen? Is there a second, smaller talk I am ready for?
Put both dates on your calendar now, with the question in the reminder.
Tell us how it went
Recap
- Your capstone is a one page talk plan.
- The rubric shows what to fix before you talk.
- The self-assessment points you to the right lesson.
- Check ins at 7 and 30 days help the change last.
You now have: a checked talk plan, a self-assessment, and two check ins on your calendar.
Next up: Now take the post-test to see how far you came. Score 80% or higher to earn your certificate. You can retake it as many times as you need. After you pass, a short survey comes up. It is optional, so you can skip straight to your certificate.
If you need support
This lesson is education, not therapy. If you feel unsafe or in crisis, reach out now:
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org.
- Veterans Crisis Line: dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 (thehotline.org).
- In danger right now: call 911.
Sources
- Tools adapted from MM3, Fixing What We Never Talked About. Used for its tools, not as evidence. Claims are checked against the sources below.