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Course Catalog / BMU 101 / Lesson 6 of 7

BMU 101

Day 6: Build Small Joys Into Your Day

About 7 minutes, plus 10 minutes for your action step

Quick review

What are the two questions in the approval check?

See the answer

"If no one ever found out, would I still make this choice?" and "Does this line up with what matters most to me?"

Many of us wait for the vacation, the raise, or the day things calm down before we let ourselves feel good. Joy works better in small, frequent doses. Today you put two of them on your calendar.

Start where you are: What do you already do that lifts you, even a little? Most adults have at least one. Name yours before you read on.

In this lesson you will

  • List ten small, low cost joys
  • Schedule at least two of them this week
  • Tell the difference between a high and real joy

A common belief, checked

Many people believe: "I'll relax once everything is handled."

What actually helps: Things are rarely all handled. Small joys now give you the energy to handle more.

Key words

Small joy
Something that takes 15 minutes or less, costs little, and lifts you.
Habit stacking
Attaching a new habit to one you already do.

Add what fills you

Peace is not only about removing what drains you. It is also about adding what fills you.

Small joys take 15 minutes or less and cost little or nothing: a favorite song on the drive, coffee on the porch, a short walk, calling someone who makes you laugh, ten quiet minutes with no screen.

Why small works

Small joys are easy to repeat. Repetition is what changes how a day feels. They also remind you that you are allowed to enjoy your life now, not just after everything is fixed.

The Joy Building System

Highs are not joy

Highs come from likes. Joy comes from people who love you. Highs come from buying things. Joy comes from noticing one good thing in an ordinary day. The difference is not how intense it feels. It is how long it lasts.

Time on things that match your values counts too: a hobby, prayer or devotion, cooking a family recipe, learning something new.

Worked example: a joy list in action

An illustrative composite. The person and details are made up.

  1. The list: favorite song on the drive, porch coffee, calling a cousin who makes you laugh, a walk after dinner, and six more.
  2. The stars: porch coffee, the drive song, and the walk feel easiest.
  3. The calendar: porch coffee Tuesday and Thursday at 6:30 a.m., ten minutes each.
  4. The stack: the drive song plays every time the car starts, so it needs no extra time.

Common mistakes

Try it: Your joy list

Pick one to work on:

  • Morning joys
  • Workday joys
  • Evening or weekend joys

Support level: On your own. Build it yourself. Look back at earlier lessons only if you get stuck.

  1. Write ten small joys that take 15 minutes or less.
  2. Star the three that feel easiest to do this week.
  3. Put two of them on your calendar like appointments.
  4. Notice how you feel before and after each one.

Do it by: Wednesday

Reflect

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Check your understanding

Pick an answer, then open "See the answer." Try as many times as you like.

1. How long does a small joy take, in this lesson?

  1. A. 15 minutes or less
  2. B. At least an hour
  3. C. A full weekend
See the answer to question 1

The best answer is A: 15 minutes or less

  • A: Correct. Small and frequent is the point.
  • B: Not quite. That is longer than the lesson suggests. To improve: reread Add what fills you, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.
  • C: Not quite. That is a big joy, not a small one. To improve: reread Add what fills you, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.

2. You feel great after buying new shoes, but the feeling fades by evening. What does the lesson call that?

  1. A. Joy
  2. B. A high
  3. C. A ritual
See the answer to question 2

The best answer is B: A high

  • A: Not quite. Joy lasts longer. To improve: reread Highs are not joy, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.
  • B: Correct. Highs are intense but short.
  • C: Not quite. A ritual is something you repeat on purpose. To improve: reread Highs are not joy, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.

3. You want more joy but your days are packed. Which idea fits best?

  1. A. Wait until things calm down
  2. B. Stack a small joy onto a habit you already have
  3. C. Cancel all your plans
See the answer to question 3

The best answer is B: Stack a small joy onto a habit you already have

  • A: Not quite. The lesson says do not let someday be the plan. To improve: reread The Joy Building System, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.
  • B: Correct. Habit stacking needs no extra time.
  • C: Not quite. Small changes work better. To improve: reread The Joy Building System, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.

4. What does the gratitude practice ask you to do each night?

  1. A. Write three good things, with no repeats
  2. B. Check your likes
  3. C. Plan tomorrow's errands
See the answer to question 4

The best answer is A: Write three good things, with no repeats

  • A: Correct. This is the practice in the lesson.
  • B: Not quite. That is a high. To improve: reread The Joy Building System, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.
  • C: Not quite. That is planning, not gratitude. To improve: reread The Joy Building System, then explain to yourself why the correct answer works.

Recap

  • Joy works best in small, frequent doses.
  • Fifteen minutes or less is enough to shift a day.
  • Rituals, appointments, gratitude, and stacking build joy.
  • Highs fade fast. Joy lasts.

You now have: a list of ten small joys with two on your calendar.

Next up: Day 7 puts the whole week on one page, your Peace Plan.

Sources

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