Course Catalog / BMU 060 / Lesson 1 of 5

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BMU 060

Warm up

1. Think of a message you got that you had to read twice. What made it hard?

See the answer

Many people say: the point was hidden at the end, or it was too long.

Why this matters

Your boss, your teacher, and the company you write to are all busy. They may read only your first line before they decide what to do. If your point is in that first line, you get a faster and better answer.

In this course you write three real messages: an email that asks for something, a text to a boss or teacher, and a complaint or follow up. This first lesson teaches the one habit that helps all three.

Start with what you already do

You already lead with the point when you talk. You say, Can you pick me up at 5? You do not start with the story of your day.

Common belief: Good writing starts with background, then gets to the point.

What is actually true: The Federal Plain Language Guidelines say to start with the purpose and the bottom line, and to put the most important information first.

Key words

main point

The one thing you want the reader to know or do.

bottom line

Another name for the main point.

ask

The action you want the reader to take.

plain language

Writing your reader can understand the first time.

What this course is and is not

Short explanation

Before you write, say your point out loud in one sentence. Then make that sentence the first one in your message. Add only the details the reader needs to act.

Step 1: Find your point

Ask yourself: What do I want this person to know or do? Finish this sentence: I want you to... If you cannot finish it, you are not ready to write yet.

Step 2: Put it first

The Federal Plain Language Guidelines tell writers to state the purpose and bottom line at the start. Digital.gov says to have a topic sentence and to sum up long writing up front. So your first sentence is your point, not a warm up.

Step 3: Add only what helps

After the point, add the facts the reader needs: a date, a time, a name, or a number. Leave out the long story. If a sentence does not help the reader act, cut it.

What the research found

Researchers at Harvard emailed 7,002 school leaders and asked them to fill out a survey. Half got a 127 word email. Half got a 49 word email that said the same thing with five sentences cut. The short email got more responses: 4.8% of readers clicked, compared with 2.7% for the long one.

In a peer reviewed study, the same research team rewrote school letters to parents in simpler words. The new letters were about 40% more effective at cutting absences in the next month. Short and simple is not rude. It respects the reader's time.

Text version of this figure

• 1. Find it: Finish: I want you to...
• 2. Put it first: That is your first sentence.
• 3. Add what helps: A date, a time, a name.
• Study: a 49 word email got 4.8% responses. A 127 word email got 2.7%.

Worked example: Move the point to the front

Ana is a made up store worker. She needs next Saturday off for her son's school event.

Part	Model	Why it works
Before	Hi, so my son has this thing at school, and it turns out it is on Saturday, and I know we are busy, so I was wondering if maybe I could have that day off.	The ask is buried at the end.
Point	I want Saturday, Nov 7 off.	One sentence she can say out loud.
After	Can I have Saturday, Nov 7 off? My son has a school event that day. Jo said she can cover my shift.	Ask first, then the reason, then a helpful fact.
Result	Three short sentences.	Her boss can say yes in one reply.

Practice: Find the point

A made up message says: I have been thinking about the schedule a lot, and with the bus changes and everything, it has been hard, so I wanted to ask if my start time could move to 9. What is the point, and what should the first sentence be?

Check your practice: feedback

The point is the start time. A strong first sentence is: Can my start time move to 9 a.m.?

The bus changes are the reason. They go second, in one short sentence.

Common mistakes

• Starting with an apology or a long story. Start with the ask. Add the reason after.
• Putting two or three asks in one message. One message, one main point. Send a second message if you need to.
• Thinking longer sounds more polite. The research shows short messages get more answers. Be kind with please and thank you, not with extra words.

Check your understanding

Take it as many times as you like. Pick an answer, then open the feedback.

1. Where does the main point go in a work message?

1. At the very end, after the story.
2. In the first sentence.
3. In a P.S. under your name.

See the answer and feedback

B is correct. Right. Readers may only read the first line.

A: The reader may stop before the end. Review Step 2.

C: A P.S. is easy to miss. Review Step 2.

2. In the Harvard email test, which email got more responses?

1. The 49 word email.
2. The 127 word email.
3. Both did the same.

See the answer and feedback

A is correct. Right. 4.8% versus 2.7%.

B: The longer one got fewer clicks. Review What the research found.

C: The short one did better. Review What the research found.

3. What should you do before you start writing?

1. Decide how many words to use.
2. Write a long greeting.
3. Say your point in one sentence.

See the answer and feedback

C is correct. Right. Finish the sentence: I want you to...

A: Length comes later. First say your point in one sentence. Review Step 1.

B: A long greeting pushes the point down. Review Step 2.

Next up

Next you will turn your first sentence into an email that gets an answer. Lesson 2: Emails that get answers. BMU 060 is part of BMU All Access. All Access is $9.99 a month and gives you unlimited access to the course catalog. Sign up free as a Founding Member to continue. Public enrollment opens Nov 9, 2026.

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