Hard Conversations at Home | Pre-test

About 10 minutes. Not graded. 12 questions, plus 3 quick confidence questions.

This is not a test you pass or fail. It is fine not to know these answers. Many people will not, because you have not taken the course yet. Your answers show your starting point, so at the end you can see how far you came.

Some questions describe hard moments. You can stop and take a break at any time. This course is education, not therapy. If you need to talk to someone now, call or text 988. Veterans can dial 988 and press 1. In danger, call 911. If someone is hurting or threatening you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Why we ask: it shows what you already know and which ideas are new to you. When you finish the course, you will see your before and after for each skill, so you can see where you grew and what to review.

How sure do you feel?

Rate each line from 1 (not at all sure) to 5 (very sure). There is no right answer.

I can name a hard issue at home in plain words, without blame, and open the talk well.

1 2 3 4 5

1 = Not at all sure5 = Very sure

I can stay calm enough to keep talking, or take a break and come back.

1 2 3 4 5

1 = Not at all sure5 = Very sure

I can listen, handle defensiveness, and repair after a tense talk.

1 2 3 4 5

1 = Not at all sure5 = Very sure

Questions

1. Your partner checks their phone all through dinner. Which sentence names the issue without blame?

A. "When phones are out at dinner, I feel alone at the table." B. "You clearly care more about that phone than about me." C. "You're always on that phone. It's like I'm not even here."

2. Ana and her sister fight every year about who hosts the holidays. Each time, Ana ends up saying, "You only show up when there is a party." What is most likely the unspoken issue?

A. Ana feels her sister does not make time for her the rest of the year B. Who should host the holidays this year C. Which sister does more of the cooking and cleanup

3. You plan to talk to your brother about a loan in ten minutes. Your heart is racing. What is the best move right now?

A. Drink a strong coffee so you feel sharp and alert B. Call him right now, before you lose your nerve C. Do one round of slow breathing and feel your feet on the floor

4. Mid talk, your partner starts yelling and you feel flooded. Which break request fits the lesson?

A. Walk out of the room so the yelling stops B. "I need 15 minutes to calm down. I'll come back at 7:30." C. "I'm done talking. We can deal with this some other day."

5. You want your roommate to stop leaving dishes, pay back $40, and apologize for last month. What is the best goal for one talk?

A. All three, so you only talk once B. Get them to admit they are messy C. Agree on a plan for the dishes

6. You ask your dad to stop texting you at work. He says, "Fine," and goes quiet. Which is a good enough outcome?

A. You said what you need clearly and you will hold to it B. He admits he was wrong and says he is sorry C. He thanks you and says he will never text again

7. Your son came home two hours late and never called. Which opener covers what happened, how you felt, what you need, and what you are asking?

A. "I feel like you don't respect me at all. You always leave me sitting up and waiting." B. "Tonight you were two hours late with no call. I felt worried. I need to know you're safe. Will you text me?" C. "You never call when you're late. Do better, or you lose the car for a week."

8. Before talking to your partner, you write down: "You never help with the kids." What change gives the talk the best chance?

A. Describe one real moment, like "Last night I did bedtime alone" B. Add "and you always forget" to make it stronger C. Say it in a firm voice so they know you mean it

9. Your teen shouts, "You treat me like a little kid." You want to show you heard the point before you answer. What do you say first?

A. "That's because you act like one when you break the rules." B. "I'm the parent, so I make the rules in this house." C. "It sounds like you want more trust from me. Is that right?"

10. Your mom snaps, "So I was a terrible mother?" What response keeps it from getting worse?

A. Leave the room so the talk does not get any worse B. Say, "Well, sometimes, yes. But that is not the point." C. Slow down and say, "No. I'm talking about one thing that hurt. I love you."

11. During a talk you said, "You're impossible." Which repair is complete?

A. Drop it and be extra nice for the rest of the day B. "I called you impossible. That was unfair. I'll pause first next time. Can we try again?" C. "Sorry if you were offended. I was upset, and that is how I talk."

12. You and your mom have argued about the same thing at every visit this year. Each talk ends in tears. What is the best next step?

A. Try the same talk again this weekend, and say it more firmly B. Bring in a neutral helper, like a family counselor or faith leader, for the next talk C. Avoid the topic for good and visit her less often from now on

Save my starting point

Next up

Go to Lesson 1: Name What Was Never Said.

This self-check is not a grade and does not affect your access.